The concept of growing up

How do you know when you're a grown up? I thought as a kid it was a huge transition, either physically or mentally but I don't feel any different than what I did 15 years ago. The only difference is I'm paying bills and live on my own. My sisters are people I've looked up to as long as I can remember, eventhough I've been taller than them for quite some time. They've been rolemodels for me regarding school and life in general and I've always compared me and my accomplishments to theirs. In retrospect one could say I've done it too much, blaming myself if I've done something okay and they did better. It's the ever struggle of me wanting others to be proud of me.
This impression of them has adjusted itself after I moved away from home. Living at home is so different than living on your own. I couldn't even imagine myself during my teens how my life would be as a grown up, With no experiences you don't have anything to compare with. 

When I was a kid I had countless of different jobs I wanted to do as a grown up, and most of them involved uniform of some sort. Firefighter was a reoccuring dream occupation. Somewhere down the line I put aside all my thought about the future. The life of a teenager is difficult enough, so worrying about the future is unnecessary. Some have a dream early on of what career they want to pursue. I didn't have anything. I guess my self esteem dragged me down again, not letting me see the possibilities. 

My initial thought was to be working with anything related to history as I've got a bachelor degree and it is an interest of mine. A series of random events made me think otherwise. I've now worked at different supermarkets for almost four years and I still enjoy it surprisingly enough. Working at a supermarket is a job often looked down upon by many. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Panic struck me hard after the first day, I thought I wasn't capable of doing it, but apparently I am and I like being appreciated by my coworkers. So why should I care about the job isn't among the best paid ones, or that it is a lot of manual labor, being shouted at by customers? I don't. Just as proud I was to graduate from college I am proud to have a job; proving and showing myself that I can. Precisely like Thomas the tank engine.

Please remember that ""[y]ou are enough. You are so enough, it's unbelievable how enough you are. "