Dad and I, part one

Just as in the previous post, social dynamics within the family will always change when someone is struggling. It's not just you or me, but it's completely new for the household; how to behave, how to talk, what to expect etc. I'm sure your siblings and parents are scared too. I remember I was quite scared regarding how my parents would behave as think or at least hope that they didn't have too much trouble with me. My previous years were uneventfull. I did good in school and  no trouble at all, so even when they loved me, I would still say the relationship was a bit platonic. I don't think we talked about subjects that had a deeper meaning.

My dad and I have a strange relationship. I think he's always had it difficult to engage himself in to what I do. I've always gone to mom when something needed to be fixed, like homework. But my passion for football and music have always been a common thing for us. Even during when he struggled really hard with his own health. he was always there when I needed. He drove me to all the footballmatches I played eventhough he didn't have to. I could just join someone on the team. But he genuinely wanted to watch me play no matter how bad I and the team played. Maybe it distracted him a bit. And he always picked me up from school when the weather was bad.

My dad, he seems at first like a bit old school, not knowing how to cope with anything that didn't affect him directly. So when I got ill right before my 18th birthday I didn't know how or if anything would change. But it did, to the better.

He had the opportunity to stay at home with me when it was really bad. Initially I couldn't go out of the house. Something must've awakened him, an instinct maybe. He got me out of the house. After a few steps I had to turn back and we walked inside. Next day he encouraged him down the driveway and so on. Step by step.

One thing with the two of us is that we don't talk much. We don't have to talk to enjoy each other's company. I still remember the film we randomly found on the TV the first day I was at home. "Chain Gang" from 1950, it was. And we watched a lot of Discovery Channel, a lot of it!


Think I'll cut it here so it doesn't get too long. I hope I am able to do him justice through this. Please remember that ""[y]ou are enough. You are so enough, it's unbelievable how enough you are. "