Do you know what you feel?

Ever since a kid has started to talk the parents teach different aspects of the language. For example, they teach why someone is sad, happy or angry and how one can differentiate between the different emotions. Dealing with mental illness is taking one step further.

My knowledge about my own feelings is way higher than it was in the beginning when I got ill. I wasn't able to put words to what I felt and it was so frustrating because I couldn't communicate to my parents what the matter was. And in return, they didn't know how they could help. It was a bit of a stalemate. Panick attacks were scary in the beginning because of the way I felt. All I knew was that something wasn't right but not why.

I've also received a lot of help from my therapy sessions on how to label a physical feeling to an emotion or thought. My impression is that you demystify the illness when it is less abstract. It also helps you to think more rationally. When you have a panick attack, you've had a thought or reaction to something and you haven't even noticed it. It is almost like the brain has trained itself to make a conclusion automatically and start the reaction that feels like a panick attack. A wider vocabulary can help you to ask yourself questions like "what am I doing right now", "what do I feel", "is it reasonable to get this reaction now" etc. Again, this is my experience. I do think, though, that this is the first step of correcting the train of thoughts you've practiced and preached for so long.

One of my therapists (yes, I've had more than one) said something that made me think. The physical reactions you get during a panick attack or anxiety aren't limited to these moments. It all depends on the situation. Ever been really excited or looking forward to a happening? Then you might be restless of excitement. I know I always am before travelling. I guess anger can produce the same symptoms. Even before every football match there was this feeling that might feel like anxiety, but it was not. Football was an arena I enjoyed and was fairly good at. The restlessness before each match was just impatience, I wanted to get under way. Everything felt fine after the ref blew his whistle.

Still the brain might say that you're in danger as that is what it's all about. The brain has ordered all your senses to peak so you can escape the situation. A panick attack is often short lived from what I've experienced but it is exhausting.

Please remember that ""[y]ou are enough. You are so enough, it's unbelievable how enough you are. "