Work

My bachelor degree in history was complete in 2011 and I knew already then that I wanted to stay in this city. I had no idea how difficult it would be to find a job, though. There's so much to consider when looking for a job and you're struggling with your mental health. People with physical disabilities seem to have it a bit easier, as the employer and the employee can agree on specific ways to accomodate the employee. Mental illnesses are a different matter since the one who struggles often might not even know what is the best for him/her.

The dilemmas start even before you get a job. Questions pop up every day:"What do you want to work with, what are you good at, "will you fail" etc. And you might wonder how in the worl you're going to get up in the morning when you maybe struggle to get out of bed at noon. A therapist told me something about this. He said that "you can't ask yourself what you want to do when you're awakened by the alarm. Nobody wants to get up, but they do". And he was right. During the last couple of years I've got up at 5:30 in the morning. I definitely didn't want to. I just did it without giving me the opportunity to think and notice how sleepy I was.

First you need a job to go to, though. Are you willing to tell a possible employer that you struggle with whatever it is? Let me be the first to say that in an ideal world you shouldn't be afraid to tell that. Employers should thank you for being open and honest. Those are qualities employers often look for. Still, it might be a dealbreaker even today. Someone who are uncertain about what to expect or even be a prejudist might choose a different person. There is no definite answer to what you should do. Follow your instinct and see what impression you're given by the employer. Wether you want to talk to your coworkers or not, that's also up to you. A good work environment would encourage you to share it. No need to make a big deal out of it. Making a big deal out of it might have the reverse effect of what you want. Show them, and yourself, that you're completely ordinary and can do just the same as the rest.

I remember back in 2012 when I was looking for a job. I got a sort of a practice period at a supermarket. Working at a supermarket was so far fetched that I had not concidered it in the first place. To be honest, I didn't think I'd be able to go through with it. Time came and went, and I learned something new every day, had awesome colleagues and a boss who supported and believed in me. All of this made me believe in myself. I still work at a supermarket, not the same one but in the same store chain. Initially I thought about getting an office job or in the academics. Now I enjoy spending time with people eventhough it still is a bit of a challenge when you have social anxiety. Every shift leaves me mentally exhausted. I enjoy it and that's why I go back.