Today's happening

You sort of get that Easter feeling when stepping outside these days. The sun shines, warming your face. As I've started to do lately, I went outside to go shopping right after getting dressed. It's not that chaotic at the supermarket around noon, making it a bit more pleasant. It doesn't take more than ten to fifteen minutes before I'm on my way home again. Unpacking the groceries revealed something I don't like at all.

Realizing that you've forgot to buy something for your dinner is such a drag. All of the old thought patterns come back saying I'm hopeless, it's embarrasing, why didn't I check that before heading home etc. It's a very common mistake, believe me as I experience it daily at my own job. None the less, I feel as if I let myself down somehow, or that I'm unable to do what I demand of myself. So I had to put on my jacket again and do the "walk of shame". This could've prevented me in the past from going back and buy what I needed. The sensation of everybody looking at me, enhancing the perception of failure kept me away from the store. Most often there was a back-up.

Heading back to the store, I was mostly frustrated over myself. There wasn't a line at the till, so I got back home again rather fast. Winding myself down after a situation like this takes a while. But in the end, nothing of this really mattered. Solving a problem makes the rest of the day easier. Otherwise I'd be sitting and postponing the trip and not feeling very well. I wonder why it is so difficult to tell yourself that when you're right in it. All the rational thoughts and logic escape rather quickly. One thing to do if you're having a dilemma of a practical matter is to think what you would've said if you were a friend and you had to give advice to your friend. Why wouldn't that be an advice you could follow yourself?