Presence of the depression

Ironically, my procrastination has made me postpone this for quite som time. I'm good at that; worrying about it longer than it actually takes to do it. As far as I can remember, this is covered in a previous post, so I'm not going to dwell too much about it. You might say it's an easy start to get me going. I often wonder which impression one make if you're mentally ill. Nobody can see it as you don't use crutches, wear a cast or bandages. And at the same time, when you're depressed you don't care about your surroundings. Sounds or smell don't exist in a vacuum left behind by depression. Eyes might be tilted down focusing only a few meters away. One step at a time is the expression, rarely more appropriate. 

Meeting a friend when outside walking is difficult sometimes. For all you know, you might've walked straight past someone without realising it. The endless grinding of depressed thoughts take all the focus, and from what I've been told that also shows. First thing one would notice is the posture, walking slowly and not as determined as usual. Eyes might appear as a bit empty while a smile is nowhere to be found. Daydreaming or zoning out is so easy to do, disappearing from any conversation that might be happening even if you might find the topic quite interesting. I don't know where the laughter goes, though. It's locked up inside as if you're not allowed to have a good time. Notice if someone you know struggles, not saying much appears a bit lost and suddenly laughs. Laughter shows appreciation and a relaxed state of mind, more than what any word can describe.

Reason for saying this is that it's so easy for people to misunderstand and misinterpet things. If I'm having a bad day, I'd be more introvert and seem sad or upset. It still has nothing to do with you. It's how the illness is, yet my identity is not the same as the mental illness I am struggling with. These situations require some help to drag me along to whatever I might fancy. Please don't see it as rude if I don't say thanks either. Staying in the situation while having anxiety is exhausting, physically and mentally. Thanks anyway, for being there for me or for anyone who needs a hand.