Poison of the mind

There is no doubt to me that being depressed is as if your mind has been poisoned. Finding the antidote is the eternal struggle. Luckily enough there is more than one way to get well again. Now, the poison affects your thoughts in a way that you don't manage to value anything as positive. This time of the year offers nice weather, lot of sun and mild temperature. How anyone depressed see it is a bit different. I've mentioned earlier that  you often don't pay attention to the surroundings, like being in a bubble. It may come as a suprise to some that you notice people around you, though. You see them sitting on benches, outside cafés and are having a jolly good time. Then you might hear about friends going skiing for many hours. 

What is easy to do, or for me at least, is to ask myself why can't I seem to enjoy those subtle changes the way other people can, there must be something wrong etc. The initial reaction is to stay away from any situations that might be provocative, you isolate yourself. I've done that many times and didn't see why it's not a smart move. The little devil on my shoulder feeds the depression saying you're better off alone because nobody cares about you anyway. However how small a social gathering might be, it can mean the world to a person with depression or anxiety. I have fond memories of moments often looked upon as insignificant by other, like going to the movies. Being around someone is more important thant what you actually do.

Yes, I have thought all of this at some point. Do I feel bad about it? Not really. There is no shame in having a mental illness. Nor is it shamefull to talk about it. This poison grows stronger when dealing it by yourself. Sometimes, you don't have a hand reaching out for you, you must reach out yourself. Dare to speak up and take the first step away closer to a happy you.