Why me?

The rational side of me is curious, I like to ask questions. Finding answers to questions, wether they're about life, science or of a practical nature, is fun. It's all about gaining knowledge. My lack of knowledge about my self became apparent when I got ill. Questions were returned unanswered and I was none the wiser, which again increased the level of anxiety. I didn't know how to relate and understand what my physical symptoms were when I didn't know why. The countless numbers of seeing a psychologist gave me some answers, but not all. One question still remains even to this day: Why me?

The world is populated by I don't know how many. All I do know is that we're many who need to share this place called Earth. There probably is an answer to why I got "chosen", either genetic, physiological or a combination. Pulling the shortest straw is a metaphor I hold on to, as if it was random. Still, it felt unfair to be troubled with all of this for no reason. As a small digression, I'd say it is okay to feel the despair and hopelessness. My point is that you're allowed to not feel guilty of blaming yourself just because other have it worse than you. Your problems are real and very much relevant for your well being. 

Grasping onto that shortest straw has been somewhat helpful. The world is full of coincidences and this might just be one of them. It's easier for me to relax if I know that there isn't a specific choice or action in life I should've done different. Blaming myself for choosing heads when the coin lands with tails up is pointless. Well, blaming myself is pointless anyway, and rarely constructive. Maybe my choice of side, to use that metaphor, made it easier for someone else. I don't wish my history and struggles upon any of my friends. For all I know they might have chosen the same side of the coin as me, and I just don't know it. 

Please remember that ""[y]ou are enough. You are so enough, it's unbelievable how enough you are. "