Who am I and what do I try to achieve with this? Two very essential questions yet not that easy to answer. Am I stepping forward, to the frontline in the fight for enlightment around mental health? I'm not a leader by default. My personality and tendency to hide aren't compatible as a leader where you're supposed to stand out.
But I do this thing to get attention, don't I? You might say that I'm trying to make a difference at the same time as I try to not stand out. I'm fine as long as I know for myself that my work has contributed to something. To go boldly out and say that this would be a significant change to how we treat each other and ourselves, not only would that be completely out of character but also more of a leader's mindset. A leader without followers is not a good leader, and that's precisely how I think about myself. Maybe it's just a lack of practice that's holding me back.
A part of me knows what's keeping me back: myself. Failing or succeeding, both scenarios frighten me. Therefore it is not so much about the outcome but that I don't know what the outcome will be. Not knowing and not having control are triggers to my anxiety yet they should be keeping me curious and wanting to know more. One man said one time that you should "dare to fail". Dare to fail, and learn from that. Take a chance and see where you might end up. I equate failing to personal failure. Leaders don't do that. You can be a good leader and still fail at projects. It's how you deal with the failure that determines how you're as a leader.
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