A success of mental and practical value

Yesterday, 3 pm. Taking the deep breath initiates it all. The mission has begun. 

Do I feel ready? No. Would I avoid it if I could? Most likely. Am I able? We'll see.

 The bus isn't just a means of transportation. It also brings me one step closer towards a possible failure, rather than success. Another deep breath before opening the store's door. You feel like a deer in the headlights, so out of the comfortzone.Go inside, ask for help. How difficult can that be? I guess the question is also the answer, in a way. Right, got the stuff. Confidence is growing. This is a walk in the park.

Doing something that's been put off for so long time is a bit weird because it raises so many underlying questions:

Have I feared failure? Have I felt shame because I kept postponing it? Did I not want to ask for how it should be done and therefore feeling inferior? Yes.

What I basically did was changing the tuners on my old guitars, to make it function properly again. Coincidentally it is the same one I've wanted to replace. I'm not so sure anymore if I want to. First and foremost because of the sentimental value. I've had it for 14 years! Plus it was quite a hazzle, but it was expected. So doing it and not be able to enjoy it bugs me a bit. The most important reason is that currently as it is now an working, it's a symbol of success. A success after a mental fight as well as a practical fight. Using tools isn't my strongest feature. At least I know where my mental toolbox is.